i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize