we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
