where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
