i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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