I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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