Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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