I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm passing your future prison.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm too high and old for this...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
