i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
