I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
