I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
