Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
