he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize