Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
