New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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