By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
