I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
