LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He shit in the fireplace
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
