I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
