Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
