It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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