I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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