Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
