i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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