Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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