He is such a slut. More and more my type.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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