Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
