dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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