I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
