I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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