You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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