it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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