My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
