do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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