she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
