well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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