You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You may now shotgun with the bride
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
