I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
