If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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