I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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