the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize