it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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