You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
