Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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