i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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