i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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