STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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