i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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