what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
