if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
