Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
