8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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