I just cut my nipple shaving
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
