i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
