So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
