peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The power of my boobs compel you
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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