Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
