Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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