We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
