Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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