All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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